So I thought it would be funny to see how much better Captain Pants could fill in her bracket than me using any style of her choosing as compared to my diligent research. She seems to have gone with matching up the mascots, and quite frankly, I'm expecting her picks to be better than mine! Without further adieu, I offer you today's guest blogger ...
I’ve done my research. I’m ready to pick my teams. Or whatever it is you do for these things. I did a whack of research for this. Already so here are my calls for round one:
North Carolina v Mt St Mary:
Tarheels take on the Mountineers. Tarheels: crappy name but bonus points for having a mascot that at some point or other was actually living. More points because it had its own sweater/blanket thing and looks really pissed off in this picture.
Indiana v Arkansas:
So I can’t read Arkansas without saying R-Kansas in my head and Hoosier is a little to close to hoser eh, so I don’t know here. Razorbacks versus something whose name historically means hick… mmm tough call. Boars have tusks. Done.
Notre Dame v George Mason:
The Irish up against the Patriots. The Irish are probably still drunk. So Notre Dame it is. Them drunken leprechauns are wily little buggers.
Washington State v Winthrop:
This will be good. Butch the Cougar battles Big Stuff the Eagle. I know I wouldn’t dare call a cougar a butch. Especially at a bar in Denver.
OK v Saint Jo’s:
Who has a wagon as a mascot??? Honestly! But it does come with two ponies: Sooner and Boomer. Ponies can kick a hawk’s butt any day.
Louisville v Boise State:
Red Bird the Cardinal (really? Cardinals are red? Thanks for the update Einstein!) and Buster the Bronco. I’m letting the pony take this one too.
Butler v South Alabama:
One of the MANY unis with a bulldog as a mascot: Butler Blue II. I pick the jaguars for this one.
Tennessee v American:
Volunteers (and Lady Vols)? Seriously? But at least it’s better than the predictable Eagle of American University. And Clawed Z. Eagle??? Maybe it’s just that I’m Canadian and I say “z” the right way (zed) so it didn’t make sense the first time I read it and when it did I groaned. So Tennessee it is… wondering if they have to actually live up to their name to graduate?
Kansas v Portland:
Baby Jay the Jayhawk against one of many Victor E.’s, this one being Victor E. Viking the Viking. Pillaging and plundering hands down.
UNLV v Kent State:
Runnin’ Rebels and the Golden Flashes. Sounds like a comic book match up to me. Would be much better if Kent State’s mascot was the Flasher. But I can’t say that I have much faith in a school who calls their mascot Hey Reb! So Go Kent!
Clemson v Villanova:
Some cat on cat action here. Who would win in a back of the bar cage match: a Tiger or a Wildcat? Or in this case a Tiger Cub verses Will D Cat. I’m going with Tiger since Will is probably too ashamed of the lack of creativity in his name to put up much fight.
Vanderbilt v Siena:
Mr C takes on a Saint. Would be better if it were Mr T. But I still give the Commodores the upper hand here.
USC v Kansas State:
Trojans (and the woman of Troy) take on the Willie the Wildcat. For the record this is our 2nd Wildcat team. Historically the Trojans were fooled by a big wooden horse. They better have learnt their lesson. Do it for Helen.
Wisconsin v Fullerton:
Bucky v Tuffy (the Elephant… of the Titans… yeah I too thought it was Carthaginians who had Elephants). Points lost for not knowing their Roman history. Badgers all the way.
Gonzaga v Davidson:
More Bulldogs and more Wildcats. Spike Q. Bulldog (who was a living animal) and Mr. Cat. Mr. Cat? Really? Sic Spike!
Georgetown v UMBC:
Hoyas (which means “what” or “such”) with their bulldog Jack against True Grit the Retriever. A Chesapeake Retriever to be precise. Maybe Vick can help us out here. I’ll go with the Hoyas for this one… even if their name makes no sense. It does make a good comedic moment “the Georgetown what” “hoyas” “what” “hoyas” “that’s what I said: what”.
Memphis v UT- Arlington:
Tigers and Mavericks. Pouncer and Blaze. Tiger all the way. They have claws and teeth.
Mississippi v Oregon:
Bulldogs (AGAIN!!! I’m telling you! No imagination! At least I was Gryphon and then a Thunderbird – mythical creatures and very nifty – they have wings). And so do Ducks. But I’m sorry Donald doesn’t really inspire me all that much. I have to go with the Dog again for this one.
Michigan State v Temple:
Sparty the Spartan (which I was in high school before I switch schools and became a Raider… dddaarrrr) and Hooter the Owl. I thought a hooter was a restaurant with tiny t-shirts. Sparty it is.
Pittsburgh v Oral Roberts:
Claws, fur and feathers. A Panther fights a Golden Eagle. I’m going with the Panther.
Marquette v Kentucky:
I was disappointed to learn that this was U of KY so it’s the Wildcats not the Thorobreds. (This just in: to my disappointment there are in fact 2 American Colleges with the Thunderbird mascot. Damn it. I though BC had that one locked up). I’ll go with the Golden Eagle on this one.
Stanford v Cornell:
The color Cardinal (which I guess is the color of the bird of the same name, and birds sit in trees… so therefore Stanford = Tree mascot), and Big Red Bear called Touchdown. This is basketball Cornell… not football, even the Tree knows that!
Miami v St. Mary’s:
Hurricanes represented by Sebastian the Ibis take on the Gaels. Gaels are from Ireland. See my thoughts about Irish above. Go Gaels!
Texas v Austin:
Longhorns take on the Governors (and the Lady Govs). You know it really grinds my gears all the states that realized that girls could play sports too but couldn’t go for a gender friendly name and so just stuck the word Lady in front of some shortened version of the team name. Besides, Texas has a live longhorn steer called Bevo. And I’m a fan of beef. Go Texas!
UCLA v Mississippi Val:
Joe Bruin fights the Delta Devils. Hmmm… I’m gonna have to go with UCLA here. For no other reason than I want to.
BYU v Texas A&M:
Cougars and Aggies. Well we had Aggies at my Uni. And they threw some wicked pub nights. And these Aggies have a live Collie named Reveille to boot. So I’m going with the Aggies for reasons of nostalgia.
Drake v Western KY:
More Bulldogs and something called a Hilltopper which is represented by Big Red which is a red, blob like costume. So again I give into the slobbering dog named Spike.
Connecticut v San Diego:
Jonathan the (live) Huskie and the Toreros. Sounds like some new project from the makers of Making the Band XIII. I like dogs and this is the first Huskie we’ve had. So Go Connecticut.
Purdue v Baylor:
This one got me. Creative yes. But good name? not by a long shot. The Boilermakers. Who have a train. Yeah I know. Take on Bruiser and the Bears. Well when it comes down to it, train does beat bear. Physics and everything considered.
Xavier v Georgia:
Well thank goodness they aren't the Peaches, but Georgia is (drumroll please) another team of that slobbering canine favorite: the Bulldog. While Xavier has the Musketeers. And D’Artagnan has a musket. And we all know it’s not guns that kill, it’s people… but having the gun must help somewhat.
West Virginia v Arizona:
Picture this: a man in the mountains with only his wits, and a can of beans. He meets a wildcat. They look at each other. Stare deep into the other’s eyes. And then at the same moment they lunge forward to attack. Who wins? The Mountaineer of course. I said he had a can of beans, but not a can opener. He’s freakin’ starving.
Duke V Belmont:
Blue Devils and the Bruins. Wait! I’m having déjà vu here. Didn’t we just have this match up. Well I’ll even it out for the Devil. I’m picking Duke here.
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